Stolen Memories - Edna Perry Wilder
This article describes how the theft of pieces of personal history affects people. This and other articles may be found in the University Archives.
Citation for this article is: VerSteeg, Jac Wilder, "Stolen Memories," ECU Report, January 1994, Volume 25, No. 1.
Edna Perry Wilder died 20 years ago.This month, she was robbed.
Edna Perry was born in 1917 and grew up in the tiny North Carolina town of Louisburg.In 1939, she married Glenn Beachum Wilder from nearby Franklinton.They moved to Vancouver, Washington, where they raised 10 children.When Edna's husband retired in 1971, the Wilders -- still with two daughters younger than 18 -- moved back to Louisburg.
Edna never had much of a career outside the home.She taught elementary school briefly but gave it up to marry.Her husband ruled the house. Her children took up most of her time. She spent Wednesday evenings at the Baptist church, where she played piano.
But before she got married, there were three years when she did something for herself.In September 1935, Edna Perry went to college 80 miles away in Greenville.
It was called East Carolina Teachers College then, and she graduated in August 1938. At the height of the Depression, she spent money -- I don't know how much -- on a class ring.The ring was amethyst in a 10-karat setting.
On the afternoon of Oct. 21, a Thursday, somebody broke into my hourse and stole that ring.It belonged to my wife, who is Edna's daughter and the ninth of the 10 children. My wife had been promised the ring. She inherited it in December 1973 when Edna, 56, died of emphysema and the flu.Kate was 19 then and a sophomore at East Carolina University.
The ring was very worn, the dates and lettering almost gone. Long after Edna had given up teaching, during all the time she was raising those kids, during all those years she looked after a husband who wouldn't even let her have a driver's license, Edna wore the ring that showed she was a college graduate.
I think I know what the ring meant to Edna. I know for sure what it meant to my wife. It was an emotional link to a mother who died before all the important things could be said.
I guess a crack addict stole the ring. He also stole an old silver bracelet and a tiny gold heart-shaped locket that had belonged to Edna. My wife's sister had sent those things just two months ago, gifts to my daughter on her third birthday. She did it so my daughter would have more keepsakes from the grandmother she'd never met.
None of the jewelry would fetch much. Certainly not as much as the Fuji camera and a Sony camcorder the thief stole.I'm sorry he took that camcorder.Not because deducted and depreciated insurance won't fully pay to replace it.I wanted the tape that was in it, the one with the birthday scenes of my daughter opening boxes containing Edna's bracelet and locket.
After we discovered the break-in, we duly notified the West Palm Beach police, and an officer came promptly to take the report.The officer and I both knew they weren't likely to catch the crackhead. There are murders, rapes and assaults to investigate.
So we shrug off the burglary.I can even laugh about it. There was a wrapped wedding present on the table, intended for a friend of mine from the office. The burglar unwrapped the gift -- but didn't take it. I hope the bride likes the goblets better than the thief did.
I told the bride the story, and she laughed, too. She knew how I felt. All the tools were stolen from the garage of her new house before she even moved in. That's what chatter at wedding receptions in South Florida has come to: victims sharing a chuckle.
I can walk through the newsroom any day and find 10 people -- easy -- who've had their houses broken into. Burglars and other thieves -- like the ones who stole my car a few years ago in Greenacres and the ones who've twice stolen my wife's purse -- have made Palm Beach County the nation's fourth most crime-ridden metropolitan area.
The reaction is resilience -- which is admirable -- and resignation -- which is a form of defeat.We know something has broken down when we're just grateful no one was hurt.
Except we were hurt.And so is every victim.We told the officer who came to our home about the ring.He'd heard the story over and over.Expensive gadgets can be replaced. Pieces of personal history can't be. They are powerful keys to special memories.
I didn't know Edna well. I know she had a hard life. There were a lot of things she never had. She never got to meet my daughter, of course -- her youngest grandchild. But I know Edna was strong. She worked hard. She was honest.And just before she got sick with the flu that killed her, she was taking lessons so she could get that driver's license.
Edna would have wanted that class ring to pass down from my wife to my daughter.Sure, we'll tell my daughter about Edna. We have a few pictures, too, but that bit of gold and amethyst, bought by her grandmother 52 years before my daughter was born, would have connected my daughter to her past and to her family in a special way. That connection to heritage, that respect and reverence for family are part of civilization's soul.
That got stolen from my daughter.That got stolen from my wife. That got stolen from Edna.
Now I have to fill out an insurance form that asks the value of that class ring.
Editor's Note
Jac Wilder VerSteeg is an editorial writer for The Palm Beach Post, from which this story is reprinted with permission (Sunday, October 31, 1993, OPINION section). He and his wife, the former Kathryn Virginia Wilder, are both 1975 graduates of ECU.
Keats Sparrow, dean of ECU's College of Arts and Sciences, received a clipping of this article from a friend who lives in West Palm Beach. Dr. Sparrow was so moved by the story that he mailed a letter to VerSteeg with gifts that included an ECU charm. His letter read, in part:
"...No better tribute could have been made about anyone than the one you made to your mother-in-law when you said she 'was strong...worked hard...was honest.' I'm proud this fine woman was an alumna of East Carolina University....
"I hope the West Palm Beach police will be stirred by your feisty unwillingness to accept the burglary with resignation....Most of all, however, I hope we'll all find the courage to continue fighting the social evils that have brought this hurt to your family and to so many others."
